Greetings Fabulous Coaches!
One of my challenges in life has been my ego. Interestingly, this is not from the standpoint that I’m narcissistic and have trouble not being a jerk; it’s actually from the opposite end of the spectrum. I was trained by my family system that I shouldn’t be “too big for my britches” which often meant not even remotely owning what I did well or just who I really was. I believe this is a common theme for us coaches as well as many of our clients. Who do you know that minimizes and marginalizes themselves in order that other’s opinions are good (total lie, by the way)? How has that impacted you in your life and in your practice?
Alter Ego or Ego Altered?
The interesting part of this is that over the years as I’ve done a number of personal growth workshops and processes, the one single thing that my peers tend to ask of me is to see more of my assertive, confident side. I’ve complete a growth process called ‘Alter Ego’ a number of times (it likely has some other names as well.) In this process, I am taken to the part of me that I can accept the least and then I am challenged to be more of it. This happens both through my own discovery and the feedback of my peers. I have found this exploration to be an extraordinary experience.
In one particular workshop, I was challenged to be an “Arrogant Drill Sergeant.” One of the interesting things that happens in this process is that no matter how hard I try, I can NEVER fully be that character. What does occur is it empowers me to speak a bit more of my truth and be more direct (which works really well.)
I find utilizing a process like this with clients to be extraordinary. It is a really neat thing for them to realize that they really, even if they are trying hard, cannot become the person that they fear worst. Additionally, they can also come to see that their greatest vulnerability is also their greatest strength. You might try it, for yourself and your clients…
In closing, one of my favorite quotes is: “Staying small is ego-driven false humility”. I know that it is my job to ‘play big.’ I think that sums it up for where I am going in the next year of my life. I will not play or stay small. It doesn’t serve me, it doesn’t serve my clients, it doesn’t serve the change I am creating in the world.
Will you join me playing big?